Mt. Vernon Register-News

Opinion

January 25, 2014

The longest holiday

(Continued)

But the real difference between the Super Bowl and other holidays is that you’re supposed to show up at work the next day and talk about it. When people ask you if you had a nice Christmas, you could say almost anything and it would work, because after all, whose business is it that you had a fight with your son-in-law and will never see your grandchildren again? Who’s to know if your wife didn’t like the exercise bicycle you bought her? But the Super Bowl, you better have your facts straight. The only excuse for missing work on Super Bowl Monday is that you didn’t watch it — or you watched something else. Or maybe that’s your job, figuring out what to put on TV opposite the Super Bowl. Commercials that sell for a million dollars a minute on the Super Bowl must cost pennies on the other stations. It must be infomercial heaven. Can I hear a “ShamWow!”

Most of us are wise enough to use the bathroom during the game and not to go during precious commercials. Someone can always tell you about the plays and the scores, but the commercials have to be seen. I missed one last year and people had to explain to me that I had to buy this brand of beer because the horses that pull the wagons have good memories. If that doesn’t make sense, you haven’t had enough beer.

As big as football is in this country, someday soccer may equal or surpass it, and certainly our national heroes will still pass away. Which makes me wonder: How many holidays will there be a hundred years from now? Will every day be a holiday? Will every weekend be three days? Will every weekend need decorations on the outside of the house?

Maybe we’ll celebrate some holidays differently. Like by showing up for work.

Contact Jim Mullen at JimMullenBooks.com.

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